John Lyshitski is a car stealing slacker, with a weed problem, and has been in Illinois' Rossmore State Penitentiary so many times, he knows its entire population of both staff and cons by their first names. Cursed with the old ill luck of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time, in possession of the wrong car, he's been deemed a lost cause repeat offender in the eyes of everyone else. When the heartless judge, who has been behind most of his sentences, goes to the big court house in the sky, John decides to ruin the man's legacy by having the judge's only offspring, Nelson Biederman IV, thrown in the slammer along with him. Here, the world-class selfish jerk learns a certain old lesson the hard way: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But has John gone too far in the payback department? Written by ????

John and Dean Solomon may have Ph.D.s, but they're socially inept after their widowed father home-schooled them in Antarctica. When their beloved dad falls into a coma, they hatch a plan to revive him using a positive emotional shock - giving him a grandchild. They find a surrogate mom through Craig's list - she's Janine, a penniless local musician, with a large, intimidating boyfriend, James. The pregnancy gives the Solomons nine months to learn to be parents. In a side story, John pursues Tara, a neighbor who takes care of their dad when John and Dean are out; but she has no interest in John. Can the boys keep Janine and James happy, keep dad alive, and learn to be dads? Written by jhailey@hotmail.com